Toilet Training- No More Nappies!

Is your child old enough to be toilet trained, but isn’t quite catching on? Have you had enough of nappies and dirty undies?

You are not alone.

Toilet training toddlers and preschoolers is never easy and straightforward. There is always a transition period of learning what’s involved, and that means mess and frustration.

Young children learn to toilet train in one of three main ways.

Self-Initiated.

Some toddlers are very aware of their bodies and have the cognitive and language skills to self-train. They may anxiously or excitedly notice and communicate- “I’m making a wee/poo!!!”. Parents follow this lead fairly easily, by rewarding this behaviour with enthusiastic praise and leading them to the potty or toilet. In time, the undies come out, and the family can celebrate the acquisition of toilet training.

Parent-Led.

Most toddlers and preschoolers need to be invited to toilet train, with parents leading the way. If using the “cold turkey” method, nappies are no longer worn outside of bedtime, and the child is encouraged to rush to a potty or toilet when the signals come. The hope is that, within a few days or weeks, the child associates the feelings from the bladder and bowels with the expected location- potty or toilet.

With repetition, toilet training is quickly (or slowly!) achieved. Wees usually come first, poos next, and later on, nighttime wees. If done when the time is right, the child naturally responds well and acquires the developmental skill.

The Stuck Process.

And then, there are the majority. Most young children go through a phase (or phases)- where parents try one of the above methods. But things don’t always sail smoothly. The child can develop a fear of the toilet, be scared by the bowel motion, or simply have zero interest in getting out of nappies. This could occur for a number of reasons, including when the child is not cognitively ready, when there is too much anxiety, when there is too much pressure, medical causes (e.g., constipation), or other psychological reasons.

When toilet training does not go the way you would hope, things become very stressful, and it can be really difficult to navigate the next steps. Back to nappies? Persist?  Things get (literally) messy, and before you know it, bad patterns can develop, and things stay stuck.

What’s the solution???

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is a structured, practical treatment that can be used to guide parents who are struggling to toilet train their child. With close review of what is working (and what isn’t!), a staged individualised program is developed and given to parents to support the child’s toileting journey. This includes assessment of your child’s readiness, knowledge of the potential barriers, and clear support in changing the responses to motivate your child to learn the skills. The earlier this is used in the home, the faster the success.

No stage of toilet training is too early to ask for help!

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